-Someone like you? -Someone you like.

manlesbian:

nandepumkun:

princessofalchemy:

Hello I am the butt inspector I am here to inspect ur butt

Some might say

you’re an analyst

Jesus fucking christ

(Source: naminesexual)

people my age are getting pregnant and married and i can’t even order a pizza over the phone

(Source: eleanorjanestyle)

couturierer:

if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge

(Source: hunterandrewpence)

• Teacher: Name one life-changing event
• Me: Finding out about alt+reblog

ryahn:

grapewallofchina:

ryahn:

grapewallofchina:

80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% dont care

that’s 110 percent

20% of me doesn’t care

should’ve seen that coming

wescalou:

I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt

(Source: snazziest)

oscill8wildly:

milktree:

you can pretend like I dont exist but I still made you whimper like a little bitch when you were about to cum

• what i actually said: i forgot
• what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.

cantankerouscrab:

hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

beyoncebeytwice:

i still dont know what rolling in the deep even means